After a recent conversation with a woman about her fiancé, she realized she’s carrying a load of unresolved pain from her past relationship. It’s been nearly a decade since Sherry divorced her ex, and she’s been with her fiancé for the last two years. Despite her desire to enter her second marriage free from past wounds, her pride is blocking her from confronting the lingering anger and bitterness she still feels from her previous marriage.
Proverbs 18:12 (NLT) warns us, “Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor.” This timeless truth speaks directly to our struggles, showing us that while the human soul can be deeply wounded, dealing with those wounds isn’t easy. Yet, it’s in humility where God’s love truly shines. Humility opens the door to surrendering to God, guiding us on the path to reclaim what’s been lost. Pride, on the other hand, is a major stumbling block. It clouds our vision, making it hard to see the corrections we need or the guidance available to us, and often leads us to missed chances and poor decisions. When pride takes the wheel, all we see is ourselves, and that narrow view can steer us off course.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” When it comes to confronting resentment, bitterness, and pride, many of us hesitate to embrace the humility God requires and yield to Him. Instead, we let these burdens continue weighing us down. This fear of letting go is not of God—it’s rooted in darkness. Deliverance for believers happens when we face our deepest fears head-on. From personal experience, confronting past pain can be eye-opening, but it’s also where true healing begins, and a fresh start is possible.
If you’re stuck in pride, you might find yourself stumbling repeatedly before you recognize the bruises or realize you’ve strayed off course. Proverbs 16:18 (NLT) warns, “Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.” These struggles indicate that you’ve drifted too far from God’s plan for your life. It’s up to you to make things right, knowing that God has empowered you to do so. Galatians 5:16 (NLT) tells us, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” As we yield to God, we can be confident that each day offers an opportunity to be guided by His Holy Spirit and to live powerfully through him.
The emotions we experience when someone significant causes us heartbreak and disappointment can turn toxic if we hold onto them. They can disrupt our relationship with God by pulling us away from the person He has called us to be. Philippians 2:5 (NIV) instructs us: “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” In every relationship and circumstance, God calls us to embody the attitude of Jesus, which is marked by humility, forgiveness, compassion, and love. We are to navigate our interactions with others by clinging to his example of love. This means letting go of resentment and embracing a spirit of compassion and understanding, reflecting the mindset Christ has set for us.
We can’t carry unresolved hurt and pain into our new relationships. Doing so would set us up for failure and steer us away from God’s plan for our lives. To avoid this, we need to release this pain, allowing our hearts to be light with God’s love and grace. We can be confident that unity with Him through Christ ensures that every Child of God achieves their full potential. Through His Holy Spirit, our Heavenly Father has equipped us with the ability to recognize when something is off in our souls. We have the spiritual capacity to make necessary shifts and corrections that align us with God’s Will, enabling us to reflect His goodness in everything we do.
1 Corinthians 4:20 (NLT) says, “For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.” Living by God’s power is a deliberate choice, just as choosing to cling to past hurts is. For Sherry, the challenge wasn’t about closing herself off to love, but rather avoiding the painful task of confronting old wounds. Her pride led her to believe that with the love of the new man in her life, there was no need to let go of bitterness and resentment towards her ex-husband. She convinced herself that addressing her deeper emotional pain with God’s love wasn’t necessary. However, this is never the case. Pride can deceive us into prioritizing personal happiness over our responsibility to walk in God’s love and seek His approval. While maintaining a positive self-view is important, it should not come at the cost of rejecting God’s transformative love. True fulfillment comes when we open our hearts fully to His healing power, allowing His grace to renew and restore us.■
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Unresolved Hurt”, overcomingdomesticviolence.org©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
