When ‘Not Enough’ Is Too Much

An acquaintance broke up with a man she had been seeing for five years. She thought the relationship would end with a proposal. Even though he told her many times that he wasn’t the marrying type and didn’t see a family in his future, she kept hoping. Sometimes, we trip this way. We stroll on the sidelines of arrogance without realizing it. Somewhere in the back of our minds is the notion that our love is so awesome and we’ve got it going on to such a degree, that not only will we make a person totally change their minds, we’re going to make them change their hearts. It seems like a noble cause, but one that can easily undermine our faith and do a serious number on our self-esteem.

Love is a spiritual thing. You can’t hold it in your hands. You can’t touch it or mold it like clay into anything you want it to be. Yet, it is the most dynamic and powerful reality that any of us can ever be blessed to experience. 1John 4:8(NLT) very simply tells us, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Our Heavenly Father is the embodiment of love. It’s not only what He does, it is who He is. Everything about Him oozes it and slathers us in His warm and powerful yumminess. He loves us with an everlasting love, the kind that only He can give; and through His unyielding love, He attaches Himself to us through Christ.

Jesus Christ said in John 3:16(NLT), “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Heavenly Father has demonstrated the depth of His love by giving His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us on the Cross of Calvary. He gave the gift of His Son’s life so that we would have the opportunity to live an eternity with Him. It will take an eternity for God to show us how much He loves us. Yet, it cannot be lost on any individual that with this enormous love that God bestows on each of us, He will never make us love Him back.

Our Heavenly Father shows us by example how love behaves. It doesn’t force, coerce, manipulate, shove, or push. Love is a magnet that ultimately attracts its match. This is one of the reasons that God wants us to be patient as we grow in a fully mature, Christ-kind of love. He knows that when we put this high-quality goodness out there, it’s coming back to us in greater quantity and quality. Jesus Christ cosigned this in Luke 6:38 when he said that what we put out there determines what we get back.

The woman who remained in a relationship for five years, snatching crumbs, knew deep down that this man was incapable of providing a feast. He was not able at that time in his life to love her the way God desires her to be loved. It’s sad to say, but there are some people that have made a commitment to selfishness, and they’ve mastered emotional unavailability. They know how to manipulate ‘not enough’ in such a way that you cast all your hope on it. This is when ‘not enough’ is too much.

All of us are on a journey, searching for something. Sometimes we meet individuals that give us a hint of what we’re searching for, and we convince ourselves that the good part will come later. Spiritual maturity will lead you to discover that what you’re searching for is the love of God. It needs to go deep within you so that you’re never starving from or feasting on emptiness. Only the love of Christ can give you the wisdom to discern well, so that you don’t expend energy and make emotional investments that subtract from your destiny.

2 Peter 1:5-9 The Message (MSG) says, “So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books.”

Grow in the love of Christ. That’s the goal! That’s where you’ll find the rich treasure of love that fills your cup. Let God have His way with your heart. Spend time allowing Him to develop His love in you. Study His Word, and talk with Him often. In due season, He will reward you with the person who matches your capacity to love, and you’ll feast from the Father’s table together. ■

“When ‘Not Enough’ Is Too Much” written by Fran, edited by PMB for Overcomingdomesticviolenceorg.wordpress.com. Copyright ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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