In any relationship, whether it’s your own emotional state or the person you’re involved with, questioning whether love or obsession is at the root is extremely important. In God’s Word, He gives us very clear information on how love behaves—what it does, and what it produces. One of the biggest mistakes we make when it comes to loving anyone is to kick humility to the curb, and think that our brand of love is all that and a bag of chips. God is our wonderful Creator. He’s all powerful, all knowing, and intelligent beyond anything that you and I can fathom. On top of all this fabulousness, 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love. So, you and I can be confident that God is the definitive authority on love. Makes no sense to think that we know all the ins and outs when it comes to such an important subject, but many of us think that we do, and boy does this get us into trouble.
My grandmother would say, “There’s a right way to do things, and there’s a wrong way.” God’s way will forever be the right way. His way allows us to maintain loving relationships that are in balance. A relationship that is in balance is one where the love we extend and receive is not masqueraded by obsession, because when this happens, we’re no longer in safe territory.
One of the most critical truths that any spiritual person can know is that everything is indeed spiritual; and when I say ‘everything’, I mean EVERYTHING! Every experience, occurrence, event, activity, person, place, or thing is spiritual. Hebrews 11:3(NLT) tells us, “By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.” God made everything, and everything that we cast our eyes upon in this universe was produced from something that we can’t see with physical eyes. God warns us in 2Corinthians 4:18 not to focus on the things that can be seen. He tells us that the things we can’t see are more real than what we can see, because the things we CAN see are temporary, and the things we can’t see last forever.
We humans like to think we’re the cat’s meow, but when it boils down to it, we’re here on this earth today and gone tomorrow. If we’re blessed, we’ll live a long life, but it can’t be lost on us that our bodies have only a temporary existence. The soul is what God is after, because through Christ, we become eternal beings. So we absolutely have to pay attention to our souls, because the soul helps us to respond to God’s Spirit.
1John 4:16(NLT) tells us, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” This is why we have to get this love thing right. If we’re tipping over to the obsession side of things, love is no longer present. That’s because obsession is a form of fear, and fear is the aesthesis of love. The two are polar opposites, so much so that God tells us in 1John 4:18 that there is absolutely no fear in love, because love cancels out fear—just wipes it out—demolishes it. Flip the switch, and the same is true about fear. Fear cancels out love.
Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first. It’s must be our primary step before we think to do anything else. But instead of seeking God as our primary step, a whole lot of us seek the love of a person first. This is the number one sign that we’re headed for trouble. We can never look to a human being to give us what only God can give. Many of us have big, gaping holes in our souls. Either because we weren’t loved and nurtured well as kids, or we were wounded in places that haven’t yet healed. Whatever the case, we sometimes look for those holes to be filled in the wrong way and by the wrong source. The remedy is to choose God’s love by being committed to live by the example of Christ.
God has given us the ability to make choices that keep us on the right path of His love. Some of us have ferocious appetites for emotional nourishment, but we can’t let it make us dependent on harmful and parasitical relationships. As one of God’s children, you owe it to yourself not to try and feast off crumbs. You want to be able to love in a healthy way, so that you receive it in a healthy way. Get on solid footing and choose the love of God in Christ! He’s the ONE who loved you first. His love heals, restores, renews, creates, and produces good things. Choose to accept God’s love in your empty places, and let Him teach and help you steer clear of obsession. ■
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
“Is It Love or Obsession?” written for Overcomingdomesticviolenceorg.wordpress.com. Copyright ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
One thought on “Is It Love or Obsession?”
Your post hit a nerve. And this an ever learning lesson for me as I for 54 years have tried to get that love from my husband. That love that fill us and gives us joy only comes from the Lord. I am so glad you addressed this issue for I find I am not the only one who looks to a human for our validation. Thank you.