Proverbs 20:22 (NLT) says, “Don’t say, ‘I will get even for this wrong.’ Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.” This verse offers profound guidance for us as believers, calling us to a higher standard of patience and trust. Sometimes, living out this principle can be incredibly challenging, especially when we are deeply hurt by the actions of others.
As believers that are following the example of Jesus Christ, we can face life’s ups and downs from a place of unwavering faith in God’s love and grace. Galatians 5:25(NLT) tells us, “Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.” The Holy Spirit guides us into all truth, and we apply our faith as we yield to him and trust his guidance. This faith we have in the Spirit is not just a shield against hardship but a source of strength to face it. He empowers us beyond what we can imagine.
The mindset of walking by faith and following the Spirit’s guidance is beautifully illustrated by the story of a dear sister-friend of mine, who found herself grappling with a significant personal trial. She had been in a relationship where promises of change were made, especially on a hopeful occasion like Mother’s Day weekend. Her boyfriend vowed to stop drinking and seek help for his anger issues, but instead of improvement, his behavior worsened. This culminated in a frightening and aggressive outburst where he physically pinned her against the wall. Her initial reaction was one of pain and a strong desire for retribution.
A strong desire for revenge is not uncommon to most of us. We see it everywhere—when people are hurt or wronged, their first impulse often is to seek revenge or justice on their own terms. The natural human response is to want to “get even,” to balance the scales of justice according to our own understanding. Yet, the wisdom of Proverbs 20:22 calls us to a different path.
My friend defended herself, but also remained calm so that the situation didn’t escalate any further. However, her anger after this incident was almost uncontrollable. “No man has ever put their hands on me like that, and I’m going to make him pay!” she said. In moments of hurt and betrayal, the temptation to retaliate is strong. We might feel justified in our anger and think that we can manage the situation better than God could. But Proverbs 20:22 reminds us that seeking revenge not only fails to bring us true healing, but it also endangers us further. When we act out of hurt, we often make things worse rather than better, compounding our pain and possibly leading to more significant consequences.
Rather than taking matters into our own hands, we need to allow the Holy Spirit to take the lead. His power has no equal, and when we place our trust in him, he will guide us to God’s Will. John 16:13(NLT) tells us, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” The Holy Spirit tells us what he has heard from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and Jesus is the answer to all life’s questions. Rather than acting out of revenge, the Lord commands us to shift our gears to faith in him, so he can bring resolution, restoration, and healing.
My sister-friend ultimately gave up her plans for revenge. She learned the hard way that God’s way is always best. We must draw near to Him and be patient as He guides us. Lamentations 3:25(NKJV) says, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him.” The call to “wait for the Lord” is not a passive or inactive stance. It’s an active trust in God’s justice, mercy, and timing. Waiting for the Lord means surrendering our need for immediate resolution and trusting that God sees the full picture, that He is righteous in His judgments, and that His plans for us are good. ■
New King James Version (NKJV)
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Let God Handle It”, overcomingdomesticviolence.org©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
Overcoming Domestic Violence 