Vengeance Is the Lord’s

Romans 12:19(ESV)
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”” Our Heavenly Father is a Righteous Judge, and His judgments are infallibly correct. No human being has this capacity.”

I walked out of the grocery store the other day and saw a woman getting in the passenger seat of a vehicle. The man behind the wheel began a shouting match with her as soon as she sat down. He was so loud that it could be heard by virtually everyone in the area. Expletives flying one right after the other, and then a slap to the back of her head. She didn’t seem bothered, as if it was common occurrence. “They’ll probably be all over each other before the end of the day.” Two seasoned ladies remarked after they had witnessed the encounter as well. I chuckled a bit at their candor but felt uneasy as I continued walking to my vehicle.

How common this has become, equating abuse to passionate love. It has subtly eked into how many of us view significant relationships. This can be damaging to the way that we see and treat ourselves, because ultimately viewing abuse as any form of love can filter into what we will and won’t accept as a potential healthy and loving partner. We are less likely to pick up on red flags that would signal danger to our wellbeing, but we can sharpen our discernment if we lean on the Holy Spirit. The goal we should hold for ourselves is to trust wholeheartedly in God’s desire for our happiness and partner with it. We need to guard our hearts from the vicious cycle of abusive relationships, because they chip away at the quality of our existences.

The addictive aspect of abuse often taps into a rush of adrenaline, and this can send the wrong message to our minds and hearts about how love should feel and behave. Some spouses get caught up in the grip of this mixture of emotions, passion, and abuse, and they continue to remain in the marriage even after years of being abused by their partners. It becomes a trap, but we need to know that there is a way out of it.

All of us make mistakes. They can be as simple as taking too long in the grocery store or forgetting to purchase our spouse’s favorite food. Maybe we’re not as tidy as we could be or it’s possible there are aspects of our personality that others find irritating. All of us miss the mark at times, but God still loves us. Even when our mistakes are doozies, He will forgive our shortcomings and our sin if we earnestly ask Him. Romans 8:35-37 (NLT) tells us, “35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”

No one has the right to take their frustration out on us for any reason. Vengeance belongs to God, and He is the only one worthy to judge what is right, true, holy, and pure. Many of us have suffered things in life that have left us with a lot of shame. Because of this, we want to be loved deeply. We desperately want compassion, and even if it is only received in small, infrequent moments, we tell ourselves it’s enough. It’s not enough. It will not satisfy God’s standard for how we should be loved.

His Word teaches us in Romans 14:10-13(MSG) says, “10-12 So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture: “As I live and breathe,” God says, “every knee will bow before me; Every tongue will tell the honest truth that I and only I am God.” So mind your own business. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God. 13 Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.”

Don’t allow someone to get in the way of your peace and joy and make your life more difficult than it needs to be. Pray for discernment. Get into God’s Word and learn more about Jesus Christ so that you will grow stronger in him. You’ll find that when your mind is renewed to the truth, and your heart is full of love and loyalty to God, there will be a shift in the way that others perceive your strength. More importantly, God will transform you from the inside out as you cling to Him and learn to receive and give the love of Jesus Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Overcoming Domestic Violence

Overcoming domestic violence and abuse through Jesus Christ!