Overcoming Domestic Violence

Psalm 18:30 (ESV) 
“This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”

We opted to sit side by side rather than facing each other in an upscale booth that looked like it belonged in a mansion rather than a restaurant. The dimmed lights and jazz music playing at just the right volume for conversation made the ambiance perfect for our third date. My heart was contented, and without looking in a mirror, I could tell that I was beaming. I had that feeling I always get when things are beautiful, exciting, and new. Bryce was treating me just the way I dreamed I would be. I’d been divorced almost four years and too busy with mom duty to even think about dating, but this man was charming, intelligent, and said all the right things. In my mind, it was too good to be true, and in the weeks after, instead of continuing to enjoy a developing friendship, I panicked.

Panic is a response I became intimately acquainted with as a very young child. Domestic violence and abuse happened regularly in my home, and I learned to always be on alert for danger. As an adult woman, I chose men that kept this on the edge anxiety on repeat. I wanted so much that Bryce was different, that he it wasn’t all an act and that he wouldn’t turn on me the way my ex did. I found myself not being able to trust that my own decision in relationships. I was afraid that I’d continually choose someone that would ultimately abuse me.

Bryce eventually fell off, and this sort of thing had happened before, either because I didn’t have time, or it just wasn’t a good fit. It hadn’t bothered me, but with Bryce it did. There was so much fear in my life, and he held up a mirror that I was finally ready to see. I didn’t have peace in my mind and heart, but I had fooled myself into thinking that I did.

Loneliness, fear, and a lack of faith can keep us walled off from the significant relationship we deeply desire. Internally, we’re not in a good place because we’re trying to be a protective shield for our own lives, and that’s utterly exhausting. God tells us in Isaiah 55:9 (KJV), “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Our brains are incapable of considering all the details that are involved just to keep us breathing from one moment until the next. We are alive this very moment because of God’s amazing grace. He knows everything there is to know about us, and He alone knows the future. We must have confidence that our safety is in His very capable hands because He has promised to be our Refuge.

A refuge is our safe place. It’s a place we rest in because it offers peace and protective. Only God can truly be this for us. Psalm 18:30 tells us that God’s Word proves true, and this is without exception. God is faithful and He keeps His promises. He tells us that He will be shield for everyone that takes refuge in Him.

The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NLT), “I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.” A man can’t be our everything, and it’s a mistake to think that anyone can be this for us. That position belongs to God alone. When our trust is firmly planted in Him, and we love Him with our whole hearts, He will protect us. He is the refuge we seek, and when we know this in our hearts, minds, and souls, we won’t have fear. Instead we will rest in the truth of God’s love for us and always trust that He will lead us down a path that is blessed and best for our lives. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“God is Our Refuge”, overcomingdomesticviolence.org©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!